She Doesn't Need Saving!

 

Women in labor don't need saving. They need support…

There is a notion that a woman in labor needs saving from the discomfort, or lengthy time and/or pressure of labor.

Truth is she does not need saving.

She needs support.

She needs help and resources to guide her every step of the way. Sometimes that support can be in verbal cues, reassurance, love and kindness. Telling her that she’s strong, powerful and amazing.   Sometimes that support is physical with massage and pressure points, holding her hand, having your head placed on hers, or slowly breathing setting the pace for her to breathe in and out. Assuring her that her birth rhythm is just perfect.

Women in labor need to be allowed space. To empower themselves and own their birth.  To ask questions and make sound decisions. To be an active participant, not have things done to them.

The role of the Doula is to support the mother. To be the sturdy chair in the corner that mom can sit on or hold onto. Then when she doesn't need it, is still there quietly holding the space.

The woman in labor does not need a superhero to come in and fix her. There is nothing to be saved from.  Doulas are more like Sherpas, guiding a laboring woman up the mountain. The doula can show the laboring woman some options along the way. Supportive routes when detours emerge. Ultimately the expectant mother must climb the mountain herself. It’s her birth journey.

Whether she reaches the top and sees the view from the mountain peak, or turns down the mountain, it is her journey. She needs no saving. She needs support, love and reassurance. Birth like life, is a journey. No two adventures are ever a like. We must allow each birth to unfold the way it was meant to.

If Only I had a Doula.....

If only I had a doula.....

In my first trimester of pregnancy.

A miscarriage a few months prior and subsequent pregnancy with terrible morning sickness. Sick so bad, you can't cook or even smell food and most days you can't take care of yourself or your kids. Support physically from a doula who could do the things you can't in and around the house. 

Puking is a lot of work. Imagine someone to keep your hair clean or push on pressure points for comfort. To clean up the mess and make you look and feel pretty again. 

If you are pregnant or remember being pregnant, feeling half alive because of fatigue is real. To have someone there to let you nap or to help you get some rest would provide much need rejuvenation for your body and soul. 

How about having someone there to remind you of just how amazing you are when you feel so crappy. Someone to help you with the negative automatic thoughts over fears Having a doula to keep you focused on the positive thoughts and not let fear set in makes for a much more relaxed mom. 

A doula does all of these things. Not just for mothers in labor or while they are home with their babies after birth. While a doula is most often recognized as the support person for the birthing mother it can almost be anything in life.  When would you have had a doula in your life?

Add a doula to your support team today with Northern Virginia Birth Services. Our doulas will help rejuvenate you, support you. encourage you,  and give you confidence in your choices.  

 

The Northern Virginia Birth Services Difference

What makes Northern Virginia Birth Services DIFFERENT from other doula agencies or doulas in our area? What makes us the BEST?

1. Team Approach With a Difference

Some agencies just do shared call but at NOVA Birth Services you have a primary doula who you are in contact with throughout your pregnancy and when birth begins. You also have a professional doula as a back up who you will meet to. There is no searching for local doulas last minute on list serves to attend your birth should your doula be at another birth. Which brings us to our next BEST difference.

2. Professional Options

All the doulas at NOVA Birth Services are all trained from some of the countries best doula training companies and are encouraged to keep up with continuing education to grow their knowledge to best support the families in our community. Because of diversity, we also have many additional services to offer our clients based on their needs and wishes. Some of those services included are belly binding, massage, keepsake jewelry, postpartum support groups and tons of education opportunities. 

3. Non Judgemental

Our support is not what we think is best for you or our ideals. IT IS ABOUT YOU! We support clients no matter where they choose to birth, how they choose to birth, or how they feed their babies. We meet you where you are at and help to instill you with strength in your decisions as a parent. We aren't a birth center, or hospital so our support is unbiased and all YOUR WAY!

4. No Doubt Placenta!

YES! Our safety standards are so that we guarantee 100% that the care for your placenta is your placenta. We provide the transport kit that follows World Health Organization transportation guidelines and you take it home and we come to your home to serve you during the postpartum period and to process the placenta with love, care and with the highest regard. 

We come highly recommended from many providers in the area and have been serving families in our communities for many years. Look no further than the support at Northern Virginia Birth Services for your unique, your way support. 

Introducing Mary Rose Burke- Birth Doula

We are thrilled to have Mary Rose Burke as a birth doula here at Northern Virginia Birth Services. Please join us in welcoming her to our team!

What brought you to your profession as a doula (labor and/or postpartum)?

I first thought about becoming a birth doula when my oldest child was a baby, after the trans-formative experience of giving birth and becoming a mother myself. I read so much about pregnancy and birth during my first pregnancy, and I became fascinated with all of it. Over the last 11+ years, I've had 3 more babies, and now that they're all getting a little older and more independent, I'm so excited to bring this dream to fruition. I completed birth doula trainings with DONA in 2013 and with ProDoula in 2016. I am pursuing certification as a birth doula with ProDoula.

What is your favorite part of supporting families?

In this day and age, and especially in the DC metro area, the pace of life is so fast, and we are all so busy. I want to provide my clients with a safe space where they can feel unhurried, comfortable, and most of all, heard and understood. I want the families I work with to know that I am there for them, with unwavering support and nurturing care, as they prepare for and transition to life with their new baby.

When did you become a mother?

In September of 2004, at the age of 29.

Where are you from or where were you born?

I'm a Northern Virginia native - born and raised!

What are some of your dreams and visions for your profession?

I am thrilled to be pursuing certification as a birth doula. In the near future I plan to also certify as a childbirth educator, lactation counselor, and placenta specialist.

Do you volunteer anywhere and what do you do?

I do a lot of volunteering at my church - with the children's and women's ministries, and other general church programs. I also volunteer at my kids' school - in the classroom and at PTA events.

What is your greatest joy in mothering?

As a Mom, I love those moments of one-on-one connection with each of my children, when time seems to stand still, and we just enjoy each other's presence. I also love seeing the unique personalities of each of my kids develop and grow over time - they are each so different, and I'm so thankful I get to be their Mom!

What is the hardest thing about motherhood for you now?

Things can get a little (okay, a lot!) wild and crazy in our house, with four active kids, and a frisky Beagle thrown into the mix as well. My kids generally get along, and I know they love each other immensely, but when there are sibling squabbles, I have a hard time not feeling overwhelmed and stressed out - I don't enjoy conflict! But I'm working on staying calm in those heated moments.

What would be your best advice for a new mom?

It's okay not to have all the answers. None of us have all the answers. Just know in your heart that you were specifically chosen to be this baby's Mom. Your baby doesn't need you to be perfect; we all make mistakes. As long as you are always learning and growing, that's what matters. Trust your instincts, never be ashamed to ask for help, and give yourself a lot of grace - every day is a new day and a fresh start. I think these are good reminders for all Moms - I still have to remind myself of them pretty often!

What is something you always stand by? ( a verse, statement, slogan, etc)

"Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now." --Fred Rogers